Tuesday 12 April 2011

Truths about grief

Grief can make you a schizophrenic bitch. You are irrational and do things the ‘old’ you would never do – such as steal bricks from gardens.

Grief can make you impulsive because you realise just how precious life is. For short, but powerful, bursts of time you think 'fuck it' and book trips to Thailand.

Grief can make you a walking tempest, a ball of pure rage. You hate everything. You compare everyone. You begin to resent friends who are alive for not being the ones who are dead.

Grief can make you Hollywood your life. You have an internal monologue for insignificant moments and create a soundtrack on iTunes labelled ‘Nik’ which you play when feeling particularly emo.

Grief can make you passionate and lethargic. You will never sleep as much, and as little, when grieving.

Grief can make you cry when you’re watching 'Lion King' but make you smile when listening to ‘Motownphilly’.

Grief can make you amazingly alone, but more claustrophobic and suffocated than ever. Everyone avoids you but everyone asks how you are?

Grief reminds you how nice some people are and surprises you when you find some people aren’t.

Grief can make you search for anything that is able to express the emotions you know are lurking somewhere there, but don’t know the names of.

Grief can make you feel old, because you feel more than ever before, and young because of how helpless you have now become.

Grief can make you wallow in self-pity but angry at others for doing the same. Everything is put into your perspective.

Grief can make you obsessive over the wellbeing of everyone you love. Every ache should be seen to by a doctor - and every doctor doesn't know what they're doing because, well, why did they die so young?

Grief reminds you just how bittersweet life is and brings back the fact that one day, if you’ve lived right,

People will be grieving over you.

For some reason, this is not scary at all.

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