Helen Kellar. I was a very odd child growing up. I’ve never read a single ‘Goosebumps’ story but around about the age of 8 I developed a slight obsession (as I am prone to do) with Helen Kellar after repetitively reading her biography. Helen became blind AND deaf when she was less than 2 years old but with the help of her teacher and friend, Anne Sullivan, she learnt how to speak, read and write. In my opinion this woman embodies everything amazing about human courage and determination. We can do anything.
Hitler. I know this is such a typical one but the man is a fucking mystery. I just wanna be like ‘hey man, what were you thinking? I really feel like you just need a hug and a bit of Robbie Williams to soothe your soul. Your aura’s looking a little bit crazy today. Also, perhaps you really should’ve shaved off that moustache because you totally ruined the look for everyone. Oh and you DO realise you don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes, yes?’
Roald Dahl. I really struggled with this one because there are so many dead writers I would love to chat to (C.S. Lewis, Oscar Wilde, George Orwell, Ted Hughes, William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, Vladimir Nabakov, John Milton, Jack Kerouac, Franz Kafka, Roger Hargreaves...this isn’t even all of the possibilities) but Dahl won because he is hilarious and wrote some of the best children’s fiction ever. He made me want to read and his books have the added benefit of being equally amazing as films. Roald Dahl just seems like a nice guy.
Marvin Gaye. Equal opportunities, and all that. Even though technically he’d be a guest at my Dead Person’s Dinner Party, I’d still make him sing and dance around like a performing monkey. I heard about Marvin on the grapevine and thought ‘there ain’t no mountain high enough’ to stop me from getting this event on. Yeh. I punned.
Eve. No imaginary dinner party is complete without a religious figure. Why didn’t I invite someone from Jainism? Because we don’t have the same level of controversy in our religion and also, because I want to know what the hell really happened with the Forbidden Fruit. It's like wanting to find out a cliff hanger before realising the show has been cancelled. I also think Eve would provide an interesting perspective of God before he became famous.
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