Friday 17 September 2010

Success

Evidently my earlier plans in maintaining a blog failed so I'm in no doubt they will fail again. Nevertheless it's nice to lie now and then..it makes you feel dangerous. Therefore:

I'm gonna blog.

Below is some crap that I wrote...probably whilst feeling hideous

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Yourself:

Take off your makeup with wet wipes you paid £4 for. They were on sale.

It’s stained with life-changing waterproof mascara (£20), man-alluring eye shadow (£15), mineral face-smothering foundation (£20) and all the nonsense you’re another insecure sucker for. Total for a new face: £55

...And that’s excluding the makeup utensils you utilised in making a man want to utilise you.

You get loyalty points though - This changes everything. This makes it okay.

Strip off from the body-shaping garms and rip away the names a kid sewed on for the thousandth time - which you pay to advertise

Cut the acrylic talons and stare at your misshapen cuticles

Has the world ended?

De-jangle those bangles

Go blind but let us see the natural colour of your eyes!

Wash out the plastic from your hair and shades that don’t belong to you but the woman on the box

Hide from the sun (unless it’s to play the games you’ve long forgotten...Hopscotch!) and tell skin cancer to find some other fool

You’ve adopted an image. It’s so engrained you can’t even trace where from, when...why?

What made you hate this perfect body that is testament to all that has been (your parents, their parents, their parent’s parents) and all that may be (when you’re a parent)?

Embrace the fat, there’s more to hug.

Embrace the frizz and scars because character is rare these days.

It’s all very well for Christina Aguilera to tell us we’re beautiful when she looks like that. Shut up, what do you know?

Not me though. Each and every one of you is more beautiful when your beauty belongs to you and not a twisty-top bottle.

Look in the mirror, wearing only what came free.

When was the last time you saw yourself in yourself look so cheap, and yet so rich?

You’re priceless.

My gift to you is yourself back.

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1 comment:

hirr4 said...

Thank you. You have liberated me from the advertising devils that make me think that I can look like a goddess. Fay Weldon rejoices! Feminists unite! Lol. I joke. It's good.