Hussain Manawer's 17th birthday present to me

So I decided to revisit my MySpace page and came across the poem below. It made me smile again so I thought I'd put it on a website I visit more than twice a year. I've decided to include commentary in red:

I was about to go to sleep, but I just remembered
When I see you running around Highlands X-mas parties in Decembers
I can't remember how we first met
But Ilford IG1 is where this fairytale was set
An ambitious girl would never touch a cigarette This is true, I won't make myself a hypocrite after getting my dad to quit
Instead sit at home and wait for her Shrek To this day I have no idea wth this means
I've known you for years and you never get vexed
You're the girl who wouldn't care and just wear a vest At school I think I became known for the girl who wore weird shit. Particularly memorable outfits include a blue bow on my head (which is in fashion now! To which Daniel commented 'can you take that off? It's confusing me about your gender'), knee high stripey black and pink socks with a stripey black and white skirt and a pink top, my farmer skirt. And although it's not an outfit, I feel like the day I straightened one side of my hair and left the other curly needs to be mentioned.
These lyrics are shit, that was my warm up, YES!
REAL TALK FROM NOW, OKAY, OKAY, LET ME DO THIS THING LOL
The police ain't got a reason to arrest you or me
If you ain't clocked, I'm talking about a girl called Jall, Tee Hussain is one of the few people that still embraces a disgusting mispronouncing of my name, due to my nursery teacher Mrs Hobbs...Who I delivered a parcel to the other day and she remembered me! :)
She's got a warm heart and she will cruise like Penelope
If I was a buff girl I would say 'she's a threat to me!'
Your heart is warm like a heater
You're the queen of speed like your name was Rita
And I feel bare sorry for you, coz each year you grow like a centimeter! 5ft1.5" bitches!
But it's not the height, it's about what's inside that counts
Like Wayne Wonder, along you will bounce
Bounce off all the walls, stand up real tall
I'll be the shoulder when you cry and a voice when you call
I didn't get you a card coz I ain't got debit, and didn't send you a text coz I ain't got credit!
These are all quotes coz I just said it
I know you're feeling it
I can see your face when you read it I was actually smiling by the time he came to this part
Even though you're small, from the rest you're elevated
Your personality shines like it's been laminated
This is blue ink, but if your heart read it, it's gold plated
I know it ain't all that but I hope it's highly rated
I use small words like you, no need for a theasaurus
You have a sharp horn like a rhinosaurus
Let me end it with Happy Birthday Tejasaurus!